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Subscribe to blogTo All The Fathers.....Dads.......Papas......lol
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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!!!!
I hope all the Dad's out in Reezle Land Have a great day of.....
~no chores....just snores
~Breakfast in bed
~Kids(Grandkids) visiting
~BBQ's in the sun
~Lots of Fun!
Brain Transplant......
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In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."
Firsts.....
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Spring is finally springing.....lol
We have been BBQin' up a storm lately. This weekend I got my 'first' sunburn of the season....now turned to a lovely tan. I also did the 'first' work in my garden since before my daughter was born (UGH.....5 years ago) Pathetic I know.......just haven't gotten to it in the last few years. I decided that I had to this year though. Instead of cut flowers.....my kids gave me things to plant. I guess they are trying to tell me something.....lol I chose to work on Mother's day....not sit and be pampered. I started my day off in an AWSOME way.......my husband is fantastic 
Then I went and cooked My Mom....and everyone else omelets to order........lol I love to do this......I will be doing it agan for Father's day too. After breakfast we came home.......and I just got the urge to garden. I decided to get all the weeds out of the little one first......the other is going to take about a month......the grass kinda took it over
Like I said before......I decided not to be pampered......lol My husband sat drinking a beer and watching me.......lol He said I was working so hard I was making HIM tired! lmao I am suffering a lil' bit though.....I don't know how many of you garden......but usually (for me at least) the firsy time will make the backs of my thighs so friggin' sore it ain't even funny. I guess it has to do with all the bending and such....I may never really know for sure......lol Anyway.....I have to get....time for my lil' girl to be off for school......and then back outside for more gardening. If it does well.....I may post some pics for all to enjoy....
May you all be blessed with the same love and joy I have found.......til next time.....
Coffee.........mmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm
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* I am productive! I am productive! I am productive!
* Better latte than never.
* A day without coffee is like night...you sleep through it.
* We all have to do the daily grind.
* Espresso yourself.
* Automatic drip defines most people's personalities.
* Stand your grounds.
* If the spoon doesn't dissolve, it isn't coffee.
* I love the caffeine; it's the rich taste I could do without.
* Don't stop till you're shaking.
* Impatience is a virtue.
* Take two cups and call me in the middle of the night.
* Who needs sleep when you've got coffee?
* There's no rest for the caffeinated.
* Decaf is for sissies.
* Man cannot live by coffee alone - donuts are pretty essential too.
* There is no such thing as a free refill.
* It's okay to be full of beans sometimes.
Happy New Year
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Mood: a lil' off :SHappy New Year!!!!!!!
Changes.....
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Mood: eh, Music: spongebob :-SOK.....some people pay attention to everything in a persons profile..........some don't......lol This is a little note about a change I just made on mine......
I am no longer a bartender......and have no desire to go back and work as one......shocking I know. Those of you that know me know that I loved my job. BUT as that ol' sayin' goes.........things change.
Most of you here that are my friends know that I recentlt got married (about 6 months now 
) This changed my mind a bit about my job. I mean c'mon.....who really wants to be working 1/2 the night away when they could be home 'snugglin' with their hunny ????? I know which place I wanted to be.....but the money was good so I was toughin' it out. That is until the Halloween party on the 28th of October.....
On a normal night.......I'd rarely have to cut anyone off.....I'd say between 1 and 3 ppl will be cut off.........on a party night.......which this was.
First person I cut off.........well.....she was very nasty about it.......cussed me to all who would listen......I ignored it. She'd been sitting at the bar......but moved out to a table. Well to make a long story short........
I ended up getting shoved..........covered in beer......called a f*ck'n bitch.......a bigot.....was told they hated my guts......was 'invited' to go outside and fight.......this was all the work of one person.
I stayed calm through the entire thing.....even told her to have a nice night as her friends finally got her out the door. I was seething......ok I was f*ck'n pissed off. I do have a temper....that whole Scottish ancestory gets me on occasion........lol So.....being in said state.......I well.....I punched a stack of boxes.........filled with beer bottles.......felt good at the time........calmed the rage.........but......my knuckles still haven't completely healed....my husband is sure that I must have fractured them......the back of my hand was completely bruised......and they still get stiff once in awhile. So any way.......
I gave my notice a few days later. It just wasn't worth it to me anymore. I would rather be home with my kids and husband every night and not out being called names etc. My last day was November 19th......I have been blissfilly un~employed since then......my current occupation is a kept woman ( my husbands lil joke........lol)
For those that care......I'll try to update here as things go........I still don't have much time to be here.......so much to do around the holidays. Keep watching........closer to Christmas I will post my Scottish shortbread recipe
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my friends here.....May God Bless you and yours
Love Ya
~M~
Sex Jokes......lol
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Mood: Ornery.....lol, Music: Josh Turner~Your Man
Here Are some jokes I got in email today....Hope you get a giggle and smile out of them
~HUGS~
Mel
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.
ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor "assisted living apartment" .. Killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly."
In Honor........
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In Honor of Those Lost.............
Touching Base
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Just wanted to leave a note to say hello to all my friends. Been really busy since the wedding playing catch up. It was a wonderful beautiful special day. I felt like a princess who was fianlly getting to marry her prince......lol
I'm not gonna say that things are perfect.......but if things were totally perfect life would get boring. All I know is that I love him more each day and I am truely blessed to have found my soulmate.
Hugs and love to all of you.......Hope that youare all well
WOOOO HOOOOO
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Mood: EXCITED, Music: WEDDING MARCH3 DAYS!!!!!! Count 'em just 3 more days! I am way totally excited. Sorry I haven't been around. I miss my friends on here. I've been so way totally busy......not even sure how I managed to find a few minutes to be here today......lol OK.......well..........TONS of stuff to do still..........Love ya'll.......will post some pics after the main event ;)
HUGS & KISSES FRIENDS!!!!!!!
Melonie