Christ.

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I've been here for five years.

A smidge late for Talk Like A Pirate Day...

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Apparently I have scurvy. Sort of. Yesterday I went to the doctors to check something out. As of late the tiny corners of my mouth have been a dull pink and cracked of late. I contributed it due to my mouth being unaccostumed to smiling for long periods of time due to the lovely lady in my life but I still felt I needed a professional opinion.  I forgot the name of what he said I actually had but it basically amounts to a vitamin deficiency. His prescription was to basically take a centrum and apply moisturizer which is alot easier than hauling a sack of limes around. So far I've been having more fun than I should have telling people I have scurvy and forgetting to take my vitamin. I just like the word. It's a beautiful one. It's like "bastard", vulgar and yet refined. Much like me.

Why does Canada only get Tim Hortons?

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It's not fair.

The Breaks

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Led Zepplin is playing. The live cut of "Ten Years Gone".  That song always makes me think of a girl*. It's been almost four years since I seen her for the first (and only) time. My own fear and stupidity prevented further meetings. She's gone now. Off into the faraway land of adulthood with a husband, a baby and a white picket fence where I can never follow. But anyway...A few weeks back I was out on a date with a girl when at the end of it something odd happened; she wanted to go on another date. And after that another. And another. And so on and so forth. Naturally I'm ecstatic. She's silly, we have some things in common, she likes me for me and she's cute to boot. The rampant making out doesn't hurt either. I used to think about The One That Got Away quite a bit. But now... not so much. On a unrelated note it seems some of the old guard of swydm is returning. It would be nice to see chemicaldream, XxIllicitxX, PixiePink, or SlackBastard on here but that seems to be pushing it as they've also left for that magical land of Adulthood. Except for Slack who left for the magical land of Inebriation  This be no place for adults lest it involves grainy webcam footage of their genitalia.

*Now that I think about it I may have just confused that for "The Rain Song"...

Wherein I regale you with my tales of whimsy

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I'm finding it more difficult than I thought  to add people onto here. Both from interface and a general feeling of pervi/creepi-ness. No matter. You didn't come here for that. You came here for knowlege. Knowledge of my whats and wherefores. Admittedly I haven't been doing much. I'm pretty much doing the same thing I was doing a year ago only five pounds heavier. I still work and the shop and I'm still plotting humanity's downfall. And it's not like you don't deserve it either. It seems like you done nothing for the past two years but egg me on by turning all that I love, no matter how small and trivial, into garbage. McDonalds Hot Mustard Sauce? Gone. Crappy bands covering Supertramp, Pink Floyd, and Elton John. Abysmal and sacreligious. $50 for Chuck Taylors. Outrageous. Transformers and 300? Utter shit. Seriously, there is something fundamentally wrong with you (possibly at the genetic level) if you thought these were good movies and I want nothing to do with you. It's because of you Watchmen is going to be made and its going to be made by a man whose sole contribution to cinema so far has been to add nu metal to ssssuuuuppppeeeerrrr sssslllloooowwww mmmmoooo. Natually I've been depressed and staying indoors to avoid the society that hurts me so. And UV rays. The only thing keeping me sane, or at the very least nonviolent, is the awesomeness that is Guitar Hero. I named my guitar Glamdring after Gandalf's sword from The Lord of the Rings. Wanna know why? Because I'm fucking magic. I just recently gotten over the funk of finding out my former swydm/reezle pal is doing skin flicks. It's Reagan Maddux by the way. Like I pretty much predicted she's mostly been doing creepy fetish videos and The Hot Black Cock&tm. It's saddening. I thought she could do so much better and now.....
Take a look at these photos which I really shouldn't need to mention are naughty*:

www.flickr.com/photos/mpadkins/sets/72157594249986644/

Now look at this:

www.moviefilmfest.com/excal/displayImage_new.cfm?image=14965D1e5.jpg&width=614&height=414

Are you beggining to understand my feelings now?  Can you see the reason for my soul dying? But whatever, this is America. If she wants to break my heart like this she's free to do so. But Dana Dearmond with be forever etched onto my hate list because of this right along with Bendis and Bryan Singer. And speaking of embarrassing sex acts... guess who finally got some: Me! That's right. And not from some horrible bicycle accident gone arwy. The details of said encounter shall remain sparse but I will tell you the participant was a redhead on a bit of the pudgy side with a delightful Irish accent and  for an accurate description of how I felt afterwards please rent Highlander on DVD and fast forward to where Duncan beheads the Kurgan. The experience was mostly like that...only with a woman...and no beheadings...I know it doesn't seem like it but I have lightened up because of it and I did gain a huge amount of confidence. Well maybe not huge but enough to look a girl in the eye and go out on a a couple of dates. One of which is later on Friday night. Another thing I just got into recenty was showing my nerd love. I've been working at the shop for about six years now, it's time to show my colors by wearing at least one Green Lantern Shirt. I'll be going to Wizard World this Saturday and Sunday. It'll be my fourth convention this year (two horror, one comic).  I expect a good time and if I'm lucky a Drawing of Big Guy and Rusty the boy Robot by Geoffrey Darrow. I'm also thinking of taking up fencing assuming I can scrounge up enough cash in time. So aside from all that and I made a bunch of new friends  and taken on a pen pal thats pretty much my life up to this point. I know its not great but I'm not complaining, aside from the parts where I am. So there you have it. Now begone, it's late and I have some tunes I need perfects on.

*apologies to Robo19x for using his pics but he's a good photographer.

Want to see me smile?

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Play "Run Through The Hills" by Iron Maiden. Because I'm f*cking metal...kind of...

Naturally...

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My computer has to malfunction at this point. Of course.

I'm tired of looking at ghosts.

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I think it's time for me to work on my people skills.

I almost forgot.

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Happy Halloween.

Slightly creepy ramblings.

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Through a series of whacky misadventures I found out a girl who used to be on this site now does or is in the process of doing porn. Not uptight-conservative-republican-opps-I-see-a-nipple-in-this-magazine-lets-burn-every-copy-for-the-sake-of-the-children porn. PORN porn. Sucking-dick-on-camera-for-money-porn. And this bothers me a great deal. Well more than it should. I don't know why it does, it's not as if we were close, we talked a few times about her life and the good and bad points of Final Fantasy VIII and that was years ago. I just appreciated her beauty. She was, and still is beautiful. She was guilt-pretty. Do you know what that is? I doubt you do since every person I ever mentioned this too gave me a puzzled look. Guilt-pretty occurs when you're so in awe of someone that you feel bad for finding them to be beautiful. That you are not worthy to look at them. That your heart feels heavy with regret for doing so. That you don't deserve to look but you can't help but do for you fear that if you turn your head away just once it may be the last time you ever see them. That, dear reader, is guilt-pretty. It's not love. I'm a bit too crazy and selfish for that. It's...admiration,affection, a reassurance that no matter how bad things got in your life at least they would still be beautiful and perfect and golden. There are maybe six  women I've felt that way towards. Two of which had pink hair, one that could always bring a smile to my face no matter what, one that was like a tomboyish (but incredibly beautiful) sister to me, one I never even spoken to, and her. And now she's on her way to star in such classics as "Big Black Dicks,Little White Chicks", "Anal Creampie Bonanza", and "wiredpussy.com" with such colorful characters as Mandingo and a mysterious hooded being known only as "The Vaginator". It's going to lessen her. Make her no longer beautiful and...something else. Something profane. I think I'm done with my rant. I best stop. Knowing my luck she or a friend of hers is going to look at this and they'll think me to be a right nut. And they'd probably be right. I've said what I needed to say because I needed to vent and couldn't let this seep out any further into my outside life other than the headache and frown I've been wearing since I found out. I suppose that's all I can do at this point.