Daycare advice..

Posted

As usual, Im wanting some advice.. 

What do you think about daycare? 
Im wondering if its really as bad as I expect, Ive had people tell me that there kids loved it. 
How do you know thatt your kid would? 
Im just questioning, and would welcome any and all advice, experience, insight.... 



~thanks

Im sorry..

Posted

for never being around here anymore. 


Im addicted to facebook though, and am on myspace.. 


so lemmie know if you wanna add me there. 



Your much more likely to get in touch with me either place than here. 
xoxo

Posted

So May 9th is the deciding factor for you. 


How nice, you didnt have to deal with the situation intil a year later when your being forced to. 



How manly of you. 



No wonder Im single. 






Im a mess right now, excuse me for a while.
xoxo

Getting worn down.

Posted

If I werent so damn stubburn, if I didnt like to finish what I start.. if I could let myself, Id run away. 
It would be ten times easier to say fuck it, Im sick of the people doubting me, the possible scary outcomes and just drop the whole child support thing. 
I cant let myself do that though. 

I feel like the kid in school who everybodys whispering about. 
You dont know what theyre saying but you know its not good.

This shit makes me parniod.  >_> 


**so now apprantely shawns trying to say Aiden might not be his. and we'll have to go get the DNA test. its just delaying the much needed money, but hey, to me it just makes him look like more of an ass.

Irony.

Posted

Why do we suddenly want someone when we cant have them?  [no, not shawn]

Why do you always stub your toe or trip when your already running late? [yea, me]

Why do good days seem to come with three bad ones? [always me]

Why do people fall for such stupid lies? [always a sucker for a good story.]


I have so many whys and no answers. 

Im a libra, I cant have the scales tipping that damn much in one direction. 

********Yes, shawn is my sons father***********
********Ive meet his girlfriend way back in the day, a few times. So she knew who I was and apparently Shawn hasnt hid the fact or tried to deny it. I dont know why she added me, I suppose she thinks maybe if shes nice we can be friends. Ha. Doesnt really work that way. I was civil and exchanged a few messeges, cautiously. She I suppose thought that Im a more forgiving person than I am, I suggested that Shawn man up and go deal with child support and then maybe we could arrange to meet up. Its still in the front of my mind, but Im trying not to let it bother me too much. Who knows if shawn will actully do what needs to be done? I certainly doubt it.**********

This feels like rape.

Posted

And it shouldnt really. 
I didnt even want shawn to fucking see him though. 
Adien is my son, I am the one who cares for him and shawn isnt shit to us. 
Yet this has upset me so much. 
Stupid thing really, but its making a huge impact in my head. 
DAMNIT. 

[sigh] 

Okay, here we go. 
Log into myspace, new friend request. 
The name says 'Shawns girl', and I work with my cousin Shawn and his girl who I thought was the one adding me. 
I hit the accept button, went on to my messeges.
Then I thought, wait a minute.. and went flying to her page. 
Shawn [not my freaking cousin shawn] is number one on the friends list. 
Im freaking out cause I know shes looking at my pictures. 
Call it instinct but I FUCKING know. 
Its not MY pictures I care about, its Aidens. 
So Im freaking out further and rushing back to edit my friends to take her off my list. 
Too late, shed already sent me a messege saying how cute Aiden is. 
Again, FUCK.
And again, I dont really know why Im making such a big deal outta this. 
I do know that it feels like rape, it feels like they took something from me I didnt allow them to have. 

Ohh, how you haunt me so.

Posted

 I have a pretty colorful past and for some reason on days like today, those memories are haunting. 
I think about the things Ive done more when its a windy pretty day outside. Or a rainy gloomy day, or even
a freaking normal day. Haha, point is, my past no matter how good or bad seems to haunt me. 
Things Im ashamed of more so. 
Today was one of those days. 
Driving with the sunroof down and the sun on my face reminds me of so many things I dont have the 
ability to do anymore. 
Its really strange how life turns out. 
Kinda Ironic. 

**

After I had Aiden, its like all my spirit and my confidence went with him. 
Odd, youd think that would be the other way around. 
Im just now getting back into the mindset Im so used to being in, its still a day to day progress though. 
I know Ill never be the same person, but I want those good things back. 
I think I deserve them.



**


I was so happy that while I was pregnant I only gained like 30 pounds. 
And now Ive not lost any of that since I work at a job where I sit on my ass all day. 
Ive been working on that, exercise and whatnot. 
Me and three friends actully started this thing in Jan where we are measuring all those 'better left hidden' places like the thighs and underarms. Were doing pretty much every measurement you can and we are each others support. 
Dunno that Ive really lost anything yet but its nice to have friends in the same mindset as yourself. 


**

More things to not do when you call your phone company.

Posted

*Dont say 'I just spoke with you and you did this wrong', no you didnt. You spoke with one of the other hundred reps we have working there and they did it wrong. Im just the one who now has to fix it for your rude ass. 

* Dont say 'oh you can waive that fee'. I can but if your not nice about it why the hell would I want to? 

* Dont huff at me when I verify your account, do you want just any friggin body calling in to change shit? Think. 

*I really, really hate hearing 'do you have my account up?'. No, no, we dont. We dont have caller Id and your account doesnt just automatically pop up. I wish it worked that way, trust me it doesnt.

* Dont tell me were ripping you off. Taxes are on everything you buy, what the fuck did you expect? 

*And the most recent one, 'You should know its me by the sound of my voice'. 


Are you fucking kidding me lady? 


I LOVE my job. 

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. 

I shoulda seen this coming all along..

Posted

                                                                                         

Wellmyfreakingod.

Posted

What is the point of paying a baby sitter a lump damn some of money every week if theyre only going to flake out all of the sudden and screw you over? 
Wish Aiden didnt seem so happy when I drop him off there, maybe if he didnt I could convince myself to get a different sitter.
As it is Ill for sure get in trouble if I have to miss any of work again. 
Go me. 
Its not been a good month with pretty much anything. 
Hope Aprils better. 

xoxo