Yeah, alright Krista...I guess it IS time to update! LOL

Posted

Not sure you all are going to really want to read what I have to write but here goes...

Lake Tahoe was ok, was suffering from a bad sunburn though. Kinda was a drag to go there single, but I had a pretty good time. My sisters sister-in-law has a house there, so basically we just had to pack our clothes and food and got to stay for free. There was a spa, so that was relaxing. We were actually about 10 minutes below Tahoe. There was sooo much traffic up there because of the 4th of July holiday. That was a mistake to go that weekend, oh well...lessons learned. We didnt do anything major, just kind of relaxed. Which I really needed. Went to the movies and saw `The Perfect Man` with Heather Locklear and Hilary Duff. Was a really good movie. We drove around the lake, sure is beautiful there! We also drove to the Harley Davidson dealership in Carson City. That place was packed too! Saw a business near by the Harley dealership that was called.....`Dick`s Cleaners` LMAO! Dang, I wish I had my new digital camera w/ me at that moment. That would of been perfect to post in here! I might have to go back just for that kodak moment alone :) *grins* We ended up coming home a day early, which was kinda nice. We wanted to beat the holiday traffic coming home. I had a date that evening and he stood me up. I was pretty pissed. Havent heard from him since explaining what in the heck happened to him either. I know he is hiding from me though...jerk! LOL At first I started to cry but then I thought, heck...he isnt worth wasting my mascara on anyway. Then I met this guy Mike from Sacramento. Super nice guy, we hit it off great and he became hooked on me way too fast. I thought I was ready but when he started talking marriage, and relocating down this way to be with me I had a major panic attack. I felt like I couldnt breathe, literally. I hate it. We were going to go away for the weekend to San Francisco but I was so upset about how I was feeling that we just ended up going for the day. I think I probably cried almost the whole time. I would of been fine if he hadnt bugged me so much about WHY I didnt want to be more serious with him. I told him if we go slow I will probably be fine, but he said...`I want all or nothing`. He got nothing. I cant make myself feel what Im not ready to feel yet. The crap with Danny still has me so screwed up. To be with someone you love SO much and they are in your life everyday and things are awesome and then literally the next day they are gone without warning...like they dropped off the face of the earth is brutal. It was like he died. I am still mourning him to this very day. I cant even hold the tears back as I write this. I hate being a slave to love. My heart is still literally broken. I cant believe its taking this long to heal. I guess I still have alot to mourn about. Knowing he lives 10 mins. from me and I could run into him anytime scares me to death. Actually I ran into him face to face at the lake just before the 4th of July. I felt like I couldnt breathe. He looked at me like he always did and with his sweet voice said hi very quietly. His voice said to me that he misses me alot. He had his kids with him so I said hi back to him in a very low tone. That alone brought back so many emotions. I want him bad but yet Im mad at him too. It makes no sense, I know. I also have been dealing with the fact that I got Herpes. I know, thats really personal but who cares. I have to tell anyone that wants to date me anyway. I have been so down about having an STD. I got it when I was with Danny, he didnt know he had it...but that is when I got all my symptoms. So, now you know why I havent written. I know that is no excuse but I have been so overwhelmed by crap that I couldnt even force myself to write about it. When I found out I had Herpes, I wanted to run and hide. I was sooo ashamed. Danny helped me through it all, helped me with money because I have no health insurance. It ended up costing me about 500 bucks. I was in horrible pain for about a month. Anything and everything I did was so uncomfortable. Yet I worked very hard and pretended like I was ok. It wasnt easy, let me tell you! Also, the rejection you experience when people know you have it is just awful. They seem to be ok with it, then they just magically disappear like they never knew you. Its very sad for me. People like me, like to hang out with me...then I tell them I have it and its like I am a leper. It has changed my mind about people in general in a big way. I am an honest person and anyone that remotely wants to date me or be close to me in anyway, I tell them. Then, they are gone. But, I will not let that stop me from being honest to them. I figure God is weeding out the good from the bad. There seems to be alot of bad lately. *sigh* So, the normally happy go lucky Lori has been really, REALLY down for awhile. It`s very much unlike me. People are noticing that I am not my usual self. That too bothers me. I dont like feeling this way. Not one bit. Money issues have been getting to me too...everything these days costs so much! Kids need more and more and I feel like I am working so hard now just to keep my head above water. Something has got to give and soon. Before I crack! I just keep praying that everything will be ok. I know it will....all in good time. Anyone who believes in prayer, please pray for my family and I. There are lots of struggles going on. Thanks for listening to me ramble on about all of this. I know I revealed some personal stuff, but I have to talk about it. I need to heal. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Stay safe.
Thank you Krista for kicking me in the butt to write. I actually feel a little better now. I love ya! :)

Woo Hoo!

Posted

I`m heading out the door for a 5 day vacation in Lake Tahoe. I am sooo needing some R&R! Everyone have a great 4th of July and be safe. Miss me! LOL

Stolen from Tam! :)

Posted

Had to hurry up with another entry before Tam got on my ass again! LOL

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy and paste this into your journal so that I may leave a word about you...


Be kind! LOL

Hmmmm....

Posted

Nothing much to write about but Tam wanted me to say something! LOL I know my entries are few and far between these days. I swear, I never seem to stop anymore. Now, I have some time to stop and just chill and what do I get?? A major headache! GRRR Guess thats what I get for stopping, eh?
Didnt have to work today..YAY. In fact, I am off til the middle of next week. Well, I still have hair to do, but no construction cleaning. Im getting some nice muscles from that job! :) Got asked out on a date on Monday. He could barely speak english. He kept gawking everytime I walked by. Then, he started whistling. This single crap sucks! lol. I thought dating and being on my own would be fun, but its such a meat market out there. I think for now I am just gonna hide! Seems easier that way. I did meet a nice guy named Tim...he is a truck driver. We hit it off, and we wanna go out again but he is out of town alot so Im not sure if we will ever get the chance. Time will tell I guess. He doesnt pressure me, which I like. My heart is still on the mend from the days of Danny. Dang, I still miss him every second of every day! *sigh*
On to other brighter, happier thoughts...
Today my niece Heather graduated from 8th grade. Went to her ceremony. Woke up to rain..yes RAIN this morning in June. Only 70 degrees too. GRRR! That is almost unheard of here this time of year. Although it has been a wet year. Anyways, I got a call this afternoon from my niece, she called to tell me thank you for coming to the graduation today and that it meant alot to her and that she loved me. She is such a doll! My sister had her when she was 14 and I am really proud of Tina (my sis) for the job her and her hubby did raising a baby at such a young age. My baby sister has kids older than me! When we found out she was pregnant...we all chipped in as a family to help out with Heather. I think we all did a good job. She is an awesome girl with a big heart and is adorable to boot. I was pretty proud of her for calling me and thanking me. You dont get that much from 14 year olds these days. I think I will take her out to lunch and a movie as a gift for graduation.
Was supposed to do hair today...got my house all spiffy and nice and they cancelled on me. *cries* Oh well, my house needed it. I clean at work all day...dont really feel like coming home and cleaning some more! I think I may go lay down for a bit and try to get rid of this headache.
Oh yeah, today was my kids last day of school for the summer, they stopped by to show me their report cards. They were really proud, as they should be. They both did great and the teachers had nice things to say about them. I got all misty eyed when I read that. I always do. Im a sap! :) I have alot that I am blessed with and they are at the very top of the list. Now...lets just see if I am still saying that at the END of summer vacation! LOL Anyone wanna place bets? :)
Gee Tam, guess I had more to say than I thought! Thanks for kicking me in the bootie today :)

Delete this and put your title here.

Posted

OOoo, my journal has been read 3 times...smokin`! LOL I always wanted to be popular :)

You wouldnt believe how busy I have been. Dang, wayyyy too busy but the money is coming in, so I cant complain. Its what I prayed for. I have been so exhausted that I cant even make my fingers type. Been cleaning windows out in the heat on new homes. I forgot just how hot it gets around here! Im nursing a bad sunburn as well, so I am moving slow from that. Got the kids back on Sunday...I missed them. Brent and his son came down Sunday and stayed til Monday evening. Im glad that he still regards me as a close friend. I enjoy his company. The kids had a great time...I was glad for the long weekend. I had a summer cold, blah! It really got me down...thankfully it is MUCH better now. Dont have alot of houses to clean this week, which I am thankful for. I like staying close to home when I have the kids. They need the stability. Hair business has been absolutely friggin` crazy. Calls coming in almost nonstop. I feel so loved! Time for the summer hairdo`s :) Now, I just need to get mine looking pretty and I`ll be happy. I am losing so much hair from stress. I started wearing baseball hats to work, I would clean and my hair would be everywhere. I was spending more time cleaning up my own hair then the house I was working in! LOL Sad huh? :)I think my thyroid is messed up. So, I am working on getting that straightened out. I have lost a few more pounds, Im sure climbing ladders all day has helped a ton. I feel like I am in way better shape. My clothes look way better on me and I love that. Who doesnt, right? :)I had a date last week with the worlds smallest man! But boy was he handsome :) He is barely 5`4, I walked up to him..I am 5`5 and wear tall shoes all the time...so I was probably standing 5`8 when I met him. He greeted me with a huge hug and I felt like I was going to swallow him up! LOL He was a doll though, he said he didnt mind me being taller. Heck, I think most ARE taller! I met him on Yahoo Personals. Come to find out, its a small world out there. The first time we talked on the phone...I heard him giggling. I said `what are u laughing at?` and he said....`Oh, Im just laughing at your cousin Kelly` I nearly took a dump! LOL He has worked with my aunt, uncle and cousin for about 15 yrs. I had no clue. I thought it was so amazing and wild! My aunt raved about him, everyone seems to think he is a great guy. It made me feel really comfy to meet him. We had a few drinks together, had dinner and went for a drive. He ended up coming over, and brought me a CD I didnt have. It was so sweet of him. I was really flattered. I think this is the first date he has had where he really hit it off with someone since his divorce...which was very tragic for him. So, he asked for more time to heal his heart. I could tell as we got closer, he grew a little sadder. I totally know how he feels so I just reassured him that I am a no pressure type of girl and if time is what he needs, then time is what he gets. So, we`ll see...havent heard from him in awhile, but thats ok. At least I made a new friend. Can never have too many of those....right? Well, the bed is screaming my name...so, that is where I shall head.
Happy Thursday everyone! *muah*

***********************giggle time**************************

Ok, Steph! :o}

Posted

Yeah, I know...it has been awhile. I have been extremely busy with hair clients and also working doing construction site cleaning. I have been literally working until 9:00 most evenings. I have also had the kids this week, so that takes up alot of my time as well. I have been battling a ton of emotions but feeling better. So much has gone on, but I cant write about it here, not sure who`s eyes see it and I cant take the chance. Lets just say, my life was threatened twice and I have had to watch my back alot. It hasnt been fun at all, in fact my hair is falling out because of stress. My son Sam also got suspended from school last week for fighting. Apparently a kid jumped on his back in the bathroom and wouldnt let him out the door. Soooo, Sam who is 6 clocked him one right in the nose and made him bleed. He got a warning for that, but then got into another fight on the playground the next day. GRRRR! I`m not sure how to handle all of this, its all so new to me. Sam is usually so happy go lucky. HELP! LOL Im sure he is having anger issues about our divorce and his fathers impending marriage. Some days its just all way too much for me to handle. Sooo, needless to say...I stay really busy so my mind doesnt get the best of me. It`s been really tough, if I could talk about it here, you would all understand. Lets just say I now know I am one VERY tough girl. Sad to say I had to find out about it the way I did...but such is life. Thankfully I am better now, but I have my days.
Gonna take the kids to the Cherry Festival in Linden in the morning, they are really looking forward to that. Then, I have a date. YAY...I need to meet new people again. Its time! We have been talking on the phone for awhile now...so Im looking foward to meeting him face to face. I will fill you in as to how it goes. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Luv you Steph...thanks for poking me in the butt to write another entry! LOL

Happy Mom`s Day!

Posted

I wish I could say mine was way more eventful...but I cant. Thats ok though. Im sitting here with my kids, drinking my coffee and still in my jammies. My hair is looking lovely! LOL I slept in and woke up to Fruity Pebbles (Hi Steph! LOL) all over the kitchen floor thanks to little Mr. Seth! Thankfully they were dry and swept up easily. Seth had also bit Sam in the arm and his screaming and crying is what woke me up. Joy huh? I had been awake, guess I fell back to sleep. I havent been sleeping well due to stress in my life that I`d rather not write in here just yet. Im getting better though and I guess I had some sleep to catch up on. I went to bed alone and woke up to 3 little bodies curled up next to me. Macy was upside down in the bed and uncovered. Sam who almost never gets into bed with me was there and Seth was crammed so tight up next to me that I barely had room for myself. I was irritated, but you know what? One of these days it will be `uncool` to sleep with Mom or they will be gone and on their own sleeping with their own babies. These are precious times, no matter how much sleep I DONT get or how much my back hurts because I slept in the same positon all night or if I have a zillion kids in bed with me. They are mine and for that I am 100% grateful. I was infertile for 6 yrs. battled a 101 lb. weightloss just to even conceive my first child. That pregnancy was a battle in itself. They are the miracles I never thought I would get to experience and for that alone I am blessed beyond all measure. I have gone through alot in the last few years and being a single mom is VERY tough. Some days I am so weary I dont know how I make it. I pray, I rely on God as much as I can and He helps me through SO much. My God and my children are the reason why I am still waking up everyday and getting my tushie in gear to make it another day. I know for sure there are people in way worse situtations than myself and I feel for them. I admire the Mom`s who have struggled with every little problem and made it through. I think of Stephanie the most I think. She is young, and strong and has been a huge example to me. I see one struggle at a time being thrown her way and she picks herself up and dusts herself off and just moves along. I admire you girl...more than you know. My mom was and still is an amazing mom. She helps me with my kids as much as she can and was there with everyone of my childbirths. Even took care of me when I was too sick to do it. Her mom, my Grandma was and is a great mom too. Not many get to experience the joys of their mother the way I have. I hear others say how they were abandoned by their mom or they beat them or could care less about them. Im so saddend by this. I cant even imagine. I have a ton to be thankful for, writing this entry has made me realize it even more. I was grumpy this morning and not being the nicest mom I could be but now....I have a smile and my heart feels like a weight has been lifted. Even though Seth is begging me to give him a mohawk at 2 1/2 yrs. of age and Macy is begging me to teach her how to curl her hair right now. I realize its all good and one day I will look back and realize just how precious these struggles were. Memories in the making. I love you Macy, Sam and Seth....the tears are worth the triumphs. Happy Mom`s Day to all you wonderful Mommies!

Here are some pics of the kids and I and the gifts they made for me at school. I love `em!

Sam made me a little flower pot with a fake paper flower and a picture of him in the middle. He was SO proud! :o}



This is what Macy made me...a watercolor picture with a poem on the back. It reads...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am your sweetest daughter and the only one too.
Guess what Mama, you`re the best Mom too!

She wrote that all herself...sweet isnt it?


All Seth could give me was some love...good enough for me!


Have a wonderful day!

~Babies are a wonderful way to start people

Delete this and put your title here.

Posted

This is my baby sister and her hubby Richard....



They had a car accident today :o{

Some parolee T boned them in their Lexus, which caused them to spin around and hit another lady in a Toyota who got hurt and was taken away by ambulance. Of course the driver who caused it all had no insurance and wasnt hurt a bit. Tina is sore but ok and my brother in law Richard has a hurt shoulder and neck problems. I guess her Lexus is pretty hammered. She just got it too...poor thing. Oh well, Im just glad they will both recover. Scared me though! I have had a busy last few days. Yesterday, I did 7 haircuts after work. Today I did two more and was supposed to do another 2 cuts and a highlight. Glad they got cancelled. I am very tired. Got 2 more houses to do tomorrow...gonna be a long day. SOoooo, I think I will settle into bed and watch AI. I want Scott to go sooooo bad. Im still shocked from last week. Ok, Im rattling on. Thanks for reading. Night all! *muah*

***************************giggle time*******************


An airline`s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant,
who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce
that he`ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if
you could just put up your trays and seatbacks, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather
exotic looking woman hadn`t moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn`t hear
me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so
the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well,
sweet-cheeks, in my country, I`m called a Queen, so I outrank you.
TRAY UP, BITCH !"

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Posted

Today my Dad turns 58. He is so awesome! Love you lots Dad, ur the best! Im proud to be your daughter. I hope I have lots more years with you!



My Dad and my sis.

Hope everyone is having a B.E.A.Utiful Sunday!

I am, just the kids are fighting. BLAH!

Brent is coming down, can you believe it? Havent seen him since January. It`ll be good to see him. Ive missed our times together. Glad we are still friends.


Watched `Meet the Fockers` last night...I laughed! Went to take it out of the DVD player today to return it. Well, my DVD player ate it! *cries* Hopefully Brent can get it out. GRRR!

Kids are fighting, I need to go hurt someone! LOL...Kidding :)

Im bored....

Posted

So I started messing with my camera and the settings on the software that I have. I made myself have green lips...Im such a goober, I know.



LOL!

My body is so sore, from work....wish it were sore from sex! LOL Im in a weird mood, can you tell? I just ate ice cream...maybe thats why? I dunno....sure didnt need the calories though. Ahh well, Ive lost about 13 lbs. so Im purrrrdy darn happy about that. :) Im rambling on about nothing, so I think Im gonna hit the sack and watch Meet the Fockers. I hear its funny. Happy Friday everyone!


**********************giggle time**************************

GAS GRILL