exhausting......

Posted

I am living an exhausting lifestyle, one of which im not sure of how long it will last. Whats wrong with me? im not sure but all i know is that things are what they are. If it were not for my daughter i just wouldnt want to be around. I mean why should I? Am i being selfish for thinking this? Perhaps, yea....yea i am. Honestly how fucking selfish have i been in the last 12 years of my life? To have everything taken from me from time to time and to know what i have now i just dont understand. I dont want any pity or anything from this. This is not why im writing this. To understand life you have to experience things or see things happen to others. Well lets just say dont follow in my footsteps. Some of you are wondering what im talking about, and some of you understand what im talking about. But make no mistake, i love my daughter more than anything i will be there for her. But i cannot predict whats going to happen to me. Im having medical problems of which i cannot explain. Last night i blacked out and hit a guard rail. Nothing new, nothing i cant control. Thats all i have to say about this........

gosh dammit i wish i knew what im suppose to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Why cant i be ever fucking happy