Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said, 'Implants?' She hit me!
How come we choose from just two people to run for President and over fifty for Miss America ?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up...
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