reezle blogs en-us Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:10:05 -0800 reezle http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:10:05 -0800 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317377

I was having a discussion last night, with a male friend of mine, about the fine art of kissing. (Don't get any idea's. I've known him since I was ten years old).

The perfect kiss, according to him, is best described this way;



"To kiss well, one must imagine that the mouth is a sexual organ. THEN, imagine that it's your ONLY sexual organ. I don't want to...]]> Thu, 06 Nov 2008 11:25:49 -0800 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317253
* I have a hot tip for the ladies. Declare yourself a MFZ (man free zone, for those that don't know) and the fella's will be tripping over themselves to get to you. I'm projecting a "fuck off" aura, and they LOVE it. They must see it as a challenge, or maybe they're just masochists at heart. I'm telling you it works. Appear disinterested, and the dolts can't get enough....]]> Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:26:43 -0800 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317211
I heard the funniest vibrator story yesterday and I just have to share it. My five year old nephew found "mommy's little helper" whilst playing hide and seek. He had climbed onto the top shelf in her walk-in closet when he made the discovery under some storage boxes.



He walked out with it in his hand and said, "What's this?"....]]> Fri, 31 Oct 2008 09:00:25 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317138
Thursday night, I had a few friends over, we were just having some drink and a laugh, trying to decide what to do with our evening. I was surfing the blogs and reading out a few of the funny or retarded ones, when I came across a post the was both. A blogger had posted a cracker about blogging superhero's, asking people to sign up to be a part of the goof troop. (Think...]]> Thu, 30 Oct 2008 12:59:09 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317115
There's a chick at work who's been dating a guy for 2 months. He's a bit of a hottie and we, (other nosy female staffers) have been wondering, what he's like in the sack, as you do. We thought she was doing the " I don't shag and brag" thing, so we held our tongues and let our imaginations do the rest......hrmmmm.......Sorry my mind was wandering.



Anyway,...]]> Mon, 27 Oct 2008 23:27:23 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/317044
I had an absolutely crappy weekend for the second week in a row! The weekend lords are hating on me right now. Bastards! Either that or I think I'm getting old and cranky!



Firstly I've had enough of mind games and bullshit. My tolerance levels have dropped considerably and if you want to play games or be the star of your own soap opera, then I don't have time for you...]]> Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:56:23 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316948
* Cringe moment of the week occurred when a co-worker showed me her engagement ring. Do you know what flew out of my mouth before my brain could censor? I said, "is that it?" in a horrified voice!! My brain did that Homer like "D'Oh" and I followed up with "ohh it's gorgeous" but too late. The damage was done. She gave me a lecture...]]> Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:47:40 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316925
Most women have a bitchy streak in them. Don't deny it ladies. The only thing that differs is the size of the streak. Some only get a smidge, others get a fuckload. I happen to work with a woman who I call the motherbitch, because she is the mutha of all bitches!



She's one of these cumpuppets who've worked for the same company, in basically the same role, her whole life....]]> Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:57:09 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316906
I've had the most freakin weekend from hell, cuz I'm too damn nice! Firstly, my sister and her husband are moving back to OC in two weeks ( frikken yay!) so I was "volunteered" to get their house in ship shape order after their tenants left. Well that was a barrel of laughs. No better way to spend a whole Saturday if you ask me.

THEN my brother...]]> Wed, 15 Oct 2008 00:16:32 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316840
Regular readers of my blog will know that I am a klutz. I regularly do stupid things, injure myself or others, embarrass myself, or sometimes, all four at once. But since I started blogging I no longer push those events to the back of my mind and try to forget them. Oh no. Now I blog about them. Now when I do something retarded I go " oh yay, blog fodder". Sad but true....]]> Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:45:35 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316721
Due to offline crappola. I've had a shitty few days. But last night that all turned around. You bitches aint gonna believe this.



The girl Mafia had decided that our friend of the cheating bastard (she doesn't want me to reveal her name. Hi slutguts if you're reading), shouldn't be left alone to mope and dwell and get all depressed. So we've been taking it in turns to occupy...]]> Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:21:28 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316625
Is there a virus on Reezle?? What's going on?? Should we send out a search party? Should we all take some happy pills? Is this a new phenomenon, or does this always happen at this time of year? Are some of us suffering from Blogstipation, where the words just aren't coming as easily, or have we just lost the blogspiration to post???? ( I think I have blog on the brain...A brainblog if you...]]> Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:37:38 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316587
They say you never forget your first love, and for most women that is so true. Whether it be just a tiny flame that burns in your heart forever, or a massive inferno that you can never put out, that first flush of love is something you always remember.



If you're not an obsessed, bunny boiler type of chick, you move on with your life, you let the flame become a smouldering...]]> Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:07:35 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316574
You lot are bad influences and I'm easily led! The cheating bastard had till lunchtime yesterday to remove his belongings. He did so.....Except for the big,ugly chest of drawers. When my friend demand that he get rid of it or else he grew a second head. He called her a petty bitch and TOLD her that he was leaving there till he and his skankyhoho had a bigger place.



Not on...]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2008 11:21:52 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316472
I'm trying to get fit again. Once upon a time I could take three modern dance classes, back to back and think nothing of it. NOW, my exercise regime consists of walking briskly between my desk and the snack machine. And the crap I buy and consume at said machine, kind of negates the walking briskly bit.



But anyway, I feel the need to do some sort of exercise and considering...]]> Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:25:18 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316461
When can you invoke the 'Bro's before Ho's' friendship clause?? And is it really necessary to have a penis to do so?



I'd like to think that guys have a secret code amongst themselves like "hey come out, but leave the pussywhip where it belongs" which is code for - leave your stupid girlfriend at home. No hard feelings.. just don't bring...]]> Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:30:33 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316408
I'm back. Couldn't stay away. I began to twitch, blink furiously and convulse. The girl Mafia threatened to hold an intervention and kidnap my computer. Bitches.
* Seems I was taggled ages ago grrrrrr thanks for that, I will repay you in kind shortly. I'm supposed to tell you all my oddities. Do you have a few weeks? Only joking. Here are just a few.



1. I hate sushi. Now...]]> Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:17:41 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316188
A funny thing happens when you become an obsessed blogger. You start to view your life events, experiences and day to day shit as potential blog posts. It's weird and I need some time off. I know I've only been blogging for 10 months but it's been all consuming and I'm tired.



A lot is going on in my life right now. I'm uber busy, stressed, cranky and feel...]]> Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:13:21 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316083
It's a purely lustful relationship that we have, but it's one sided. You give and I take, yet you don't want me the way I want you.



Still. I have you in the palm of my hand.

Long, smooth, hard and velvety to touch.



My eyes trail over you hungrily and it's all I can do to contain my desire in public. We need to be alone so I can have my way with you....]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:23:49 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316048


No U Hang Up Video 
I love Shayne Ward.. and this video is making me all hot n bothered. =) 



If flash video doesn't work.. go here: Shayne Ward - No U Hang...]]> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:11:44 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/316046
No I'm not talking about FUCK, and yes, on my 21st birthday I promised I'd swear less. Bite me. I'm talking about FEMINISM! Last night I happen to be watching a bit of MTV. And as I'm watching MTV, my blood starts to boil. I feel my inner Tourettes start to kick in and I begin my swearfest at the television. Why oh why does every second video have to have...]]> Tue, 19 Aug 2008 02:42:15 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/315985
]]> Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:11:43 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/315980
This week, was Rag-Week. aka: Bitch week.



You can't help it. You just act like a bitch..moreso than usual. And last night's The Nanny Diaries Incident really needs to go into the history books as a benchmark period-bitch attack.



It was a sunday night, I really had nothing better to do, I had been invited to a party, but the party was in...]]> Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:20:01 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/315940
My neighbors across the hall are on my ever growing list of Enemies. The last thing I want to see when I leave the house first thing in the morning, or come home to late at night is a pile of stinky garbage.



Keep your chicken carcass, used nappies, empty bottles, corn cobs in your own apartment please!!!!!!!!!



Last night upon walking up the stairs to my unit,...]]> Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:56:22 -0700 http://blogs.reezle.com/pimpmistress/315928
OR maybe I should have titled this post, " Too much information". Boys feel free to avert your eyes, you might not want to read this.



I received that dreaded letter in the mail the other day. No, not the credit card bill, or a disconnection notice. Something much, much worse. A pap smear reminder from my dedicated Gyno. Seems I'm overdue for a check up....]]>